Heartfelt Feedback VS Constructive Criticism
Criticism is still criticism no matter how you package it!
Over the the years I have always been "open" to criticism. As I have moved throughout my life I have received it in many forms. Sometimes I have listened to it and grown from it. Sometimes I have been weakened and diminished by it. Sometimes I chose to ignore it. Sometimes I have absorbed it far too deeply to my detriment.
Of all of the forms of criticism I have ever received, I have noticed a few things that will strongly impact my "openness" to criticism in the future. Even when the criticisms were accurate and kindly given the price I paid for the wisdom that was offered was not a wise use of my resources to acquire it. At worst, the poorly delivered criticisms were mere distractions from my true purpose or knocked me to my knees afraid too afraid try to do anything at all.
As I healed from depression and trauma I recognized I needed to cut some people out of my life. I needed to stop listening to and absorbing the criticisms offered by people who truly did not want me to recover. Nothing they offered me could be trusted to be intended to help me grow or heal my pain. I was able to recognize that I needed to only listen to the criticism offered by people I highly respected, trusted, or admired.
When I look back, I realize, the most helpful and beneficial criticism I have ever received was not actually criticism at all. Even when it was hard hitting, life altering and painful to receive it was truly heartfelt feedback from someone who genuinely cared enough to try to help me improve my performance or heal my pain.
Sometimes heartfelt feedback comes from my closest and dearest family, friends, or mentors. But sometimes it can be delivered from a sincere stranger who has nothing to gain or lose by my success or failure.
Going forward, I am excited about the wonderful adventures that lie ahead in the new year and beyond. Being a perpetually positive person has not always been easy but it truly is who I am and who I aspire to be. I have devoted the first sixty years of my life to my own in depth study of the costs and benefits of negativity. I have listened to what others have had to share about the benefits of negativity. I understand that reality is a mixture of positive and negative emotions or experiences. I am not afraid of fully acknowledging the reality of such things. The impact of negative experiences cannot and should not be ignored. Smothering negative emotions is not an effective way of maintaining my sense of mental well-being. There is a huge difference, however, between experiencing or feeling something negative and BEING negative.
Being a perpetually positive person means that whenever I experience a negative event or feel a negative emotion my perpetually positivity keeps digging to find the silver lining in the dark cloud. I can honestly say that the worst experiences I have ever had have brought me the greatest blessing by what was contained in the silver lining. Being a consistently negative person means you stay focused on the dark cloud and ignore the rainbow or the pot of gold that follows every storm.
Multiple studies have proven the human brain has a natural tendency to give much more weight to negative experiences than positive ones. This is what is referred to as a negativity bias. I simply choose not to revert to this primordial protection technique that is embedded in our brains. The people I have most admired in this world and who have made the most profound contribution to mankind all have something in common. They all fought for and clung to a perpetually positive mindset in order to achieve the tremendous advances in their contributions to improving themselves and our world.
So I am actively going to seek out and learn from the other amazing people in this world who embrace positivity even when faced with the tremendous challenges life sometimes brings. If you are ready to reject negativity and are seeking more positivity in your life I invite you to come dance with me on the other side of the rainbow just beyond the pot of gold. Tea is at 2!
As I healed from depression and trauma I recognized I needed to cut some people out of my life. I needed to stop listening to and absorbing the criticisms offered by people who truly did not want me to recover. Nothing they offered me could be trusted to be intended to help me grow or heal my pain. I was able to recognize that I needed to only listen to the criticism offered by people I highly respected, trusted, or admired.
When I look back, I realize, the most helpful and beneficial criticism I have ever received was not actually criticism at all. Even when it was hard hitting, life altering and painful to receive it was truly heartfelt feedback from someone who genuinely cared enough to try to help me improve my performance or heal my pain.
Sometimes heartfelt feedback comes from my closest and dearest family, friends, or mentors. But sometimes it can be delivered from a sincere stranger who has nothing to gain or lose by my success or failure.
Going forward, I am excited about the wonderful adventures that lie ahead in the new year and beyond. Being a perpetually positive person has not always been easy but it truly is who I am and who I aspire to be. I have devoted the first sixty years of my life to my own in depth study of the costs and benefits of negativity. I have listened to what others have had to share about the benefits of negativity. I understand that reality is a mixture of positive and negative emotions or experiences. I am not afraid of fully acknowledging the reality of such things. The impact of negative experiences cannot and should not be ignored. Smothering negative emotions is not an effective way of maintaining my sense of mental well-being. There is a huge difference, however, between experiencing or feeling something negative and BEING negative.
Being a perpetually positive person means that whenever I experience a negative event or feel a negative emotion my perpetually positivity keeps digging to find the silver lining in the dark cloud. I can honestly say that the worst experiences I have ever had have brought me the greatest blessing by what was contained in the silver lining. Being a consistently negative person means you stay focused on the dark cloud and ignore the rainbow or the pot of gold that follows every storm.
Multiple studies have proven the human brain has a natural tendency to give much more weight to negative experiences than positive ones. This is what is referred to as a negativity bias. I simply choose not to revert to this primordial protection technique that is embedded in our brains. The people I have most admired in this world and who have made the most profound contribution to mankind all have something in common. They all fought for and clung to a perpetually positive mindset in order to achieve the tremendous advances in their contributions to improving themselves and our world.
So I am actively going to seek out and learn from the other amazing people in this world who embrace positivity even when faced with the tremendous challenges life sometimes brings. If you are ready to reject negativity and are seeking more positivity in your life I invite you to come dance with me on the other side of the rainbow just beyond the pot of gold. Tea is at 2!
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